Thursday, October 30, 2008

There but for the grace of god go I....

or there will go I eventually....

Rheumatoid arthritis hand gallery.

I didn't mean this to be the all rheumatoid, all the time blog. I posted before that I had a Zac Browser but no Zacs. Now I have plenty of Zacks and Daniels and Lauras too... so much time that I don't know how to keep up enough to even form thoughts on them.

So I'll obsess about my slowly drifting hand and feet joints.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

To statin or not to statin?

So, I can't figure out why I'm so darn tired.
Then I remembered -- oh yeah -- I have rheumatoid and narcolepsy. That'll do it.

I'm also wondering about my statins. I've been on generic zocor since August. I'm understanding that it can break down muscle tissue. Great. That's just what I need.

However, I was really amazed at what I found out -- not just about the scariness of the muscle-eating side effects, but also about what statins can do. The fatigue DOES indicate I need a blood test to make sure proteins from my muscles aren't being carried into my kidneys. Lovely. But there are trade offs. For one, I have a lower chance of dying from heart disease. AND... as an added bonus, clinical trials hint at effectiveness against RA.

Any lowering of inflammation in my body is a good thing, me thinks.

There is an earlier 2004 study that shows the same results.

Good to know.

I'm still sore. And paranoid. Is my joint swelling or is that muscle tissue being eaten?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

"I can feel it coming back again..."

To quote a song from my college days... "I can feel it coming back again/like a rolling thunder chasing the wind//forces pulling from the center of the earth again." Live, Lightening Crashes.

Although my best friend Susan and I liked to sing that one at the top of our lungs are we piloted her sky-blue Omni through the streets of that tiny town we thought we owned, we never could figure out exactly what the lyrics were about. Something with birth and death and angels. But the refrain was so haunting that it didn't matter.

Now I'm walking around with those lyrics in my head. And a tiredness in my hands when I type or try to answer questions on a test. And a pain just below my kneecap. And a swelling in my right foot. I slept close to 40 of the last 72 hours.

Maybe it's nothing. Little to no sleep, standing in shoes that I knew were bad for me. But every since my remicaid was cut off, I wait for the flare to begin again. It's like I know it's there -- just waiting on me to let my guard down, to be happy at my job and at my life... the other shoe is always there. Except in this case, it's a high heeled one that was spectacularly stupid of me to wear.

Maybe I'm wrong and it's all a change of the weather.

I never used to be this scared of it before.